I Watch Movies Therefore I Get Mad - OR

I Watch Movies Therefore I Get Mad - OR - I Hated The Mist

Seriously.

I'd like a refund on the last 2 hours of my life.
Yeah.
They were pretty much wasted.

Okay.
They were totally wasted.

On what, you ask?

The Mist.

Look - I've known this whole time, since the movie came out, that it would be... um... crap. And now that I've subjected myself to it, I can definitively say, 'that movie was crap'.

Know what annoys me?

On the cover, there's this blurb that reads, 'A masterpiece. One of the most shocking movie endings ever.' (or something to that effect).

What?

The person who wrote that is either
A: retarded
B: sheltered
C: retarded
D: fucking retarded

Unless by 'shocking' he means 'completely predictable', 'totally cliched', and 'mind-numbingly obvious'.

Then yes.
It was 'shocking'.

And please, don't any of you try to sway me by arguing that, 'the book was really good' because:
A: I highly doubt it.
B: I don't give a crap because I'm talking about the fucking movie.

Here's the deal:
The cinematography sucked.
The directing sucked.
The acting was... mostly pathetic.
The writing was heinous.

Please... do yourself a favor and don't watch this movie... unless you want to be forced to gouge out your eyes with rusty spoons as I was.

And while I'm on the subject.
Don't bother with 1408 either. (Another movie, might I add, that I knew would be fucking horrendous when it came out.)

In fact, if the story was written by Stephen King within the past... oh.... 10 years - skip it. It's not worth the air you breathe.

Comments

The Witch (2015)

You know the drill - there's ALWAYS spoilers. Don't want the movie ruined for you, come back after you've seen it. Also - I'm still without an editor - typos and bad grammar await you! I keep hoping that the cultural obsession with zombies will end; literally every other damn movie that comes 'round seems to feature some sort of shambling, undead being bent on devouring the weak flesh of regular humans. Once upon a time, zombies have have been used as a metaphor for the blind consumerism created by our capitalist society, or the perceived depletion of resources by immigrants, or even the ravages of time and disease on our frail bodies. Now it seems that the deeper social commentary has been lost as audiences mindlessly consume "zombie fiction" in an attempt to keep up with trends. ( How very meta - a film buddy of mine commented on this assessment! ) All of this is just a sideways rant, leading up to my actual point: it seems that zombie may actually...

"I live, I love, I slay & I am Content."

Let me tell you a little about myself; something real about the home I grew up in. There were lots of people around all the time. I was the only child. And, thankfully, I wasn't treated as such. Much like today, I was just the shortest member of the household. But what's that really mean? Above and beyond it means that I had many influences growing up. For this entry, my father's influence is the most important. My father loves arms and armor. He loves history and mythology and the art of warfare. And as any good father would, he shared these passions with me as a kid. I remember him making me wooden swords to play with. We played chess together. And I remember him reading me Greek myths and comic books before bed. He also shared his nerdy love of scifi, fantasy, and horror movies with me. For all of this, I am grateful. And I am now passionate about the same things. Spoiler alert: the following statement is not a dick joke. I have a love of swords. And barbarian...

Mother!

Alright friends and readers–this one is probably doubly filled with typos and grammar errors because I wrote it while angry. Good luck and happy reading. There are unpopular opinions in every realm. As a film student, you can truly strike a nerve when you say things like, "I fucking hate the self-indulgence of independent films and the way people idolize them." Or, you know, "Low lighting and slow pacing does not a good movie make." Or whatever. You can of course, objectively, understand how this happens. When you are creating art–when you are outside the system so to speak–you are free to explore things (subjects, techniques, etc.) that may need to be addressed and that freedom can become intoxicating and go to one's head. While it may seem only right or only fair to respect and accept each creative endeavor that every artist undertakes, it is unreasonable to believe that the world will remain forever patient with the self-obsession artists have. Th...

i'm kael's ghost

Search This Blog