Skip to main content

Beat The Heat Movie Suggestions

For most, summer means sunshine, popsicles, and trips to the beach. For the rest of us, there are movies to be watched in the air conditioned comfort of our living rooms.

To help combat the heat, I've put together a quick list of "snowbound" horror flicks for you to enjoy. So grab some popcorn, crank the AC, kick back, and laugh in the face of the sun!

The Thing (1982)
$.25 version: scientists discover an alien life form frozen in Antarctica. All hell breaks loose.
Why it scares us: The Thing tackles a number of our fears - isolation, fear of the dark, the monster is within us, good old body horror, etc.

$.25 version: writer takes family to mountain-top resort for the winter. All hell breaks loose.
Why it scares us: The Shining is both a haunted house story and a portrait of one man's descent into madness. 

$.25 version: a stranger wanders into a small town in Alaska where there is no sun for 30 days. All hell breaks loose.
Why it scares us: much like The Thing, 30 Days of Night plays on our fears of the dark and of complete and total isolation. It also turns our traditional, romantic notions of vampires on it's head.

$.25 version: an obscene caller terrorizes some sorority girls. Then he kills them.
Why it scares us: we like to wrap things up, rationalize them, and apply reasons to why bad things happen. That way we can understand them. Black Christmas never allows us this satisfaction, the killer remains forever motiveless.

$.25 version: man brings home adorable pet for son. All hell breaks loose.
Why it scares us: not necessarily the scariest movie but it does play on our fears of foreigners and their "strange customs". It's also a thinly veiled lesson on following the rules and behaving appropriately.  

$.25 version: shy little boy befriends strange little girl. Turns out, she's a very hungry little girl.
Why it scares us: we consider children sacred, when they turn out to be evil (demons, aliens, vampires, etc.) our world view is completely upended. Coupled with the notion that we have to kill them in order to survive ourselves, Let The Right One In paints the picture of a very bad day.

$.25 version: students vacationing in Norway stumble upon Nazi zombies. All hell breaks loose.
Why it scares us: dead is dead - when that no longer holds true, we're pushed to wonder what other universal truths no longer hold true. Does gravity still work?

$.25 version: serial killer turns into a snowman, continues killing. Not to be confused with the feel-good, Christmas comedy of the same name.
Why it scares us: it doesn't. But at least all your laughing is a great workout. 

$.25 version: a couple of hunters accidentally piss off a Wendigo. Hilarity ensues.
Why it scares us: it doesn't. This Troma film is one of the worst movies on Earth - and I love it! It's definitely a bit of an homage to Evil Dead, keep that in mind if you're brave enough to watch it. Also. Keep your ears perked up for one of the most hilarious soundtracks you'll ever hear on any movie. My final word on that: chili.


Wrap up time.
I know I've missed some 60's/70's greats featuring Yeti or other abominable snow beasts but I figure this list is enough to keep you amused for an afternoon or so.

If you've got any favorites that I may have missed, feel free to add them in the comments!  I love to hear what you cats think.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Witch (2015)

You know the drill - there's ALWAYS spoilers. Don't want the movie ruined for you, come back after you've seen it. Also - I'm still without an editor - typos and bad grammar await you! I keep hoping that the cultural obsession with zombies will end; literally every other damn movie that comes 'round seems to feature some sort of shambling, undead being bent on devouring the weak flesh of regular humans. Once upon a time, zombies have have been used as a metaphor for the blind consumerism created by our capitalist society, or the perceived depletion of resources by immigrants, or even the ravages of time and disease on our frail bodies. Now it seems that the deeper social commentary has been lost as audiences mindlessly consume "zombie fiction" in an attempt to keep up with trends. ( How very meta - a film buddy of mine commented on this assessment! ) All of this is just a sideways rant, leading up to my actual point: it seems that zombie may actually...

Mother!

Alright friends and readers–this one is probably doubly filled with typos and grammar errors because I wrote it while angry. Good luck and happy reading. There are unpopular opinions in every realm. As a film student, you can truly strike a nerve when you say things like, "I fucking hate the self-indulgence of independent films and the way people idolize them." Or, you know, "Low lighting and slow pacing does not a good movie make." Or whatever. You can of course, objectively, understand how this happens. When you are creating art–when you are outside the system  so to speak–you are free to explore things (subjects, techniques, etc.) that may need to be addressed and that freedom can become intoxicating and go to one's head. While it may seem only right  or only fair  to respect and accept each creative endeavor that every artist undertakes, it is unreasonable to believe that the world will remain forever patient with the self-obsession artists have. Th...

The Babadook

Spoilers and typos! Enjoy. We often look back nostalgically on childhood, envious of the joy we felt and the boundless imaginations we possessed. How conveniently we forget the other side of that coin: as children, we experience a depth of terror our adult selves continually try to recreate for cathartic entertainment. When we try to bring those childhood fears to life on the screen, we often end up with movies about "things that go bump in the night," which is a somewhat superficial approach. While it does provide an opportunity for a supernatural experience, it ignores the root of our fear: the unknown . As children, we lack life experience. We lack nuance. We lack understanding. Not knowing creates in us fear. Yes, we fear what lurks in the darkness but we also fear the adult world because we do not understand how it works. The Babadook works to exploit both  those fears. The short story: a widowed mother of a young boy experiences a mental breakdown and tries to...