Skip to main content

Ambitious but Rubbish: Silent House

The usual warning - there are spoilers ahead.

I keep running across horror movies where the "monster" is actually some sort of apparition or "shadow" or lingering energy or "bad vibe" created by some sort of domestic violence in the protagonist's past. For the most part, it's some form of molestation.

(An American Haunting, Absentia, Silent House, and another one that I'm honestly drawing a blank on because I watch so many terrible movies! To that end, I wish I could sort my "recently watched" by "genre" on my Netflix; seeing the cover of a crappy movie often jogs my piss-poor memory!)

Moving on!

I'm not about to try and tell you that I think groping little kids is okay or anything, but I will tell you that I'm already tired of this metaphor.

I mean, all these movies start with trailers / synopsis that claim to be something they are not; they look like haunted house movies or possession movies but turn out to be something less interesting. Typically the "fake out" is the same as in High Tension (your hero is actually your killer).

If there is no monster and no ghost and no demon, you had best really surprise me with your reveal.  Unfortunately for Silent House, it was TOO obvious that there was nothing in the house with main characters; the female lead, Elizabeth Olsen continued to have "close encounters" with the supposed villain / entity / killer yet nothing hurt or captured her.

The only momentary mystery was if she is the killer or if she's in it with someone else (her creepy "uncle" perhaps?)

You're probably wondering why I even bothered watching this one and I'll tell you, I was truly intrigued by their claim that they shot the movie in real-time and in one take.

Now. I'm not stupid (and Chris Kentis is no Hitchcock) so I knew that they didn't really shoot the movie in one take. But how amazing would that have been if they had?! And, I grudgingly admit that they did a fair job of faking it.

Wrap up time.
I honestly can't even dig up enough effort to write anything else about this movie.

You can watch the Silent House trailer here:

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Dark Ride (2006)

Spoilers, typos, and bad grammar ahead. You've been warned. I remember a time when horror was still a relatively underground genre and fans slunk around in the shadows, keeping their fandom to themselves for fear of judgement. Now, it seems everyone and their mother is a horror fan and has something to say about the genre - for better or worse. While this does mean horror movies (and related goodies) are easier for long-time genre fans to get their hands on, it also means an over-saturation of the market (leading to an excess of crap.) It also means tons of great opportunities (like festivals and conventions) have cropped up all over the place.  The After Dark Horrorfest (or "8 Films to Die For") was at the forefront of the horror festival circuit and offered directors (and audiences alike) a terrific venue for checkin out new, original horror films. Pros and cons aside, I've often avoided the movies coming out of this festival - not because of the hype and ...

"I live, I love, I slay & I am Content."

Let me tell you a little about myself; something real about the home I grew up in. There were lots of people around all the time. I was the only child. And, thankfully, I wasn't treated as such. Much like today, I was just the shortest member of the household. But what's that really mean? Above and beyond it means that I had many influences growing up. For this entry, my father's influence is the most important. My father loves arms and armor. He loves history and mythology and the art of warfare. And as any good father would, he shared these passions with me as a kid. I remember him making me wooden swords to play with. We played chess together. And I remember him reading me Greek myths and comic books before bed. He also shared his nerdy love of scifi, fantasy, and horror movies with me. For all of this, I am grateful. And I am now passionate about the same things. Spoiler alert: the following statement is not a dick joke. I have a love of swords. And barbarian...

Stage Fright 2014

Stage Fright  is a visual cacophony of mismatched genre images. It's an immensely underwhelming  directorial debut that reads more like a film school project than an actual feature length film. The Gist: Theatre geeks go away to summer camp to sing their hearts out where no one can make fun of them. They attempt to produce something that looks a lot like The Phantom of the Opera and ends just as well for everyone involved. Knowing they are riffing on Phantom of the Opera doesn't make it feel any less like they are really riffing on Scream  or Scary Movie . Capitalizing on the popularity of shitty TV like Glee and the  endless  slew of High School Musical movies, there is very little to take seriously in this movie due to their immature production. I assumed, just by the production values, that it was an independent thing. I kept being thrown by it having a sort of (washed up) famous cast including  Mini Driver . I was surprised to see her in...