Skip to main content

Motherhood Can Be Bad, Movies Can Be Worse.

There are no shortage of horror movies that deal with the inherent terror of impending motherhood. I've jotted a few words in past entries about some of the more famous "motherhood is horrifying" movies out there. Tonight, we'll touch on a few others.

Enjoy.

Baby Shower - 2011

Watching this movie inspired my need to create this post.

The gist:
A pregnant woman invites her best friends to visit her at her isolated home (wait for it....) in the jungle? She then throws a fit and accuses ONE OF THEM of having an affair with her husband. And how did she learn of this affair, you ask? Well. Despite not having seen any of these friends for an undisclosed amount of time that is implied to be very long, she heard other women gossiping about it at the local beauty parlor.

Now THAT sounds like a legitimate reason to call a meeting in which to hurl accusations at your friends.

Then. A random hippy woman shows up and someone starts murdering people.

I don't even know who the killer turns out to be because I made it through roughly 75% of the movie and then had to turn it off. Me. Turning off movies. What the hell is this world coming to?!

I think it was made in Chile. If it were American, I'd assume it was made for the Lifetime network; the acting was terrible, and the effects were all digital and so low budget that they were a distraction from whatever plot there was.

I can't even provide you the bonus torture of watching the trailer, I can't find one.

Grace - 2009

I knew I loved Grace the first time I watched the trailer. Since its release, I've made it my mission to make as many people as possible watch it.

The gist:
Young couple is about to have a baby. Husband dies in a car accident, wife survives. Baby dies. In utero. Mother carries baby to term.

Now, if that description alone doesn't make you feel a little queasy while you're reading it - I'm ready to push you right over the edge: mother gives birth to stillborn baby, then wills her back to life. And while zombie baby may look adorable, apparently, teething is a real bitch with this one.

What else can I say? Be careful what you wish for. Any baby that you will back to life won't be what you expect. Seriously. Read Pet Sematary. Sometimes, dead is better.

If zombie babies chewing off your nipples isn't squirm-inducing enough, we'll add some GILF action to that with a little touch of mother fetish... what's the one where you like to drink breast milk because it gets you sexually excited? Anyway...

I love Grace because it's actually quite subtle and is immensely unsettling. It really gets under your skin and you'll find yourself thinking back to moments in the movie and feeling that creeping sting of nausea crawling up your throat.

I will note here that Grace is tellingly written by a man (Paul Solet); it screams, "I am terrified of procreation and birth and womanhood". I read a great interview with him about making Grace, but he neglected to mention this terror. I'm pretty sure it's a thing though.

Watch it. You'll see.

Watch the trailer here and fall as crazily in love as I did:



Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Dark Ride (2006)

Spoilers, typos, and bad grammar ahead. You've been warned. I remember a time when horror was still a relatively underground genre and fans slunk around in the shadows, keeping their fandom to themselves for fear of judgement. Now, it seems everyone and their mother is a horror fan and has something to say about the genre - for better or worse. While this does mean horror movies (and related goodies) are easier for long-time genre fans to get their hands on, it also means an over-saturation of the market (leading to an excess of crap.) It also means tons of great opportunities (like festivals and conventions) have cropped up all over the place.  The After Dark Horrorfest (or "8 Films to Die For") was at the forefront of the horror festival circuit and offered directors (and audiences alike) a terrific venue for checkin out new, original horror films. Pros and cons aside, I've often avoided the movies coming out of this festival - not because of the hype and ...

"I live, I love, I slay & I am Content."

Let me tell you a little about myself; something real about the home I grew up in. There were lots of people around all the time. I was the only child. And, thankfully, I wasn't treated as such. Much like today, I was just the shortest member of the household. But what's that really mean? Above and beyond it means that I had many influences growing up. For this entry, my father's influence is the most important. My father loves arms and armor. He loves history and mythology and the art of warfare. And as any good father would, he shared these passions with me as a kid. I remember him making me wooden swords to play with. We played chess together. And I remember him reading me Greek myths and comic books before bed. He also shared his nerdy love of scifi, fantasy, and horror movies with me. For all of this, I am grateful. And I am now passionate about the same things. Spoiler alert: the following statement is not a dick joke. I have a love of swords. And barbarian...

Stage Fright 2014

Stage Fright  is a visual cacophony of mismatched genre images. It's an immensely underwhelming  directorial debut that reads more like a film school project than an actual feature length film. The Gist: Theatre geeks go away to summer camp to sing their hearts out where no one can make fun of them. They attempt to produce something that looks a lot like The Phantom of the Opera and ends just as well for everyone involved. Knowing they are riffing on Phantom of the Opera doesn't make it feel any less like they are really riffing on Scream  or Scary Movie . Capitalizing on the popularity of shitty TV like Glee and the  endless  slew of High School Musical movies, there is very little to take seriously in this movie due to their immature production. I assumed, just by the production values, that it was an independent thing. I kept being thrown by it having a sort of (washed up) famous cast including  Mini Driver . I was surprised to see her in...