The Vampire Lovers

You've got to give it to Hammer, they really knew what they were doing. At the peak of their production in the 60's, they were the absolute undisputed masters of gothic horror films featuring extravagant costuming, titillating stories, and graphic violence all stirred up in one big cauldron. In the Hammer stew there is never a shortage of heaving bosoms, pursed lips, or lesbian affairs. You'll never go hungry for werewolves, vampires, ghosts, or witches.

The writing team was also smart enough to leverage existing stories, making only very slight alterations to each, to create a gigantic library of movies. In some cases, they simply dug up offbeat little horror pieces and adapted those for the screen. In other cases, they worked various renditions off of classics like Dracula, spinning the story in as many ways possible to create multiple films.

To be completely honest, there's nothing particularly stand out about The Vampire Lovers, aside from being part of a lesbian vampire trilogy that was actually sort of scandalous when it was produced. The story is literally Dracula, played by a predominantly female cast. The true mystery of this movie is not why it is popular, but how the casting director managed to round up so many absolutely gorgeous women with perfect breasts.

On that note, I'm certain there's nothing else I can tell you about this movie that will have a greater affect on whether you watch it or not.

I absolutely can't find the trailer anywhere, but you can watch the entire movie on YouTube any time you like.

Comments

The Witch (2015)

You know the drill - there's ALWAYS spoilers. Don't want the movie ruined for you, come back after you've seen it. Also - I'm still without an editor - typos and bad grammar await you! I keep hoping that the cultural obsession with zombies will end; literally every other damn movie that comes 'round seems to feature some sort of shambling, undead being bent on devouring the weak flesh of regular humans. Once upon a time, zombies have have been used as a metaphor for the blind consumerism created by our capitalist society, or the perceived depletion of resources by immigrants, or even the ravages of time and disease on our frail bodies. Now it seems that the deeper social commentary has been lost as audiences mindlessly consume "zombie fiction" in an attempt to keep up with trends. ( How very meta - a film buddy of mine commented on this assessment! ) All of this is just a sideways rant, leading up to my actual point: it seems that zombie may actually...

Mother!

Alright friends and readers–this one is probably doubly filled with typos and grammar errors because I wrote it while angry. Good luck and happy reading. There are unpopular opinions in every realm. As a film student, you can truly strike a nerve when you say things like, "I fucking hate the self-indulgence of independent films and the way people idolize them." Or, you know, "Low lighting and slow pacing does not a good movie make." Or whatever. You can of course, objectively, understand how this happens. When you are creating art–when you are outside the system so to speak–you are free to explore things (subjects, techniques, etc.) that may need to be addressed and that freedom can become intoxicating and go to one's head. While it may seem only right or only fair to respect and accept each creative endeavor that every artist undertakes, it is unreasonable to believe that the world will remain forever patient with the self-obsession artists have. Th...

The Ones Below (2015)

Standard disclosure: there's ALWAYS spoilers. Don't want the movie ruined for you? Come back after you've seen it. And - I'm still without an editor - typos and bad grammar await you! Enjoy! When I was like 12 years old, my young (impressionable) friends and I watched The Hand That Rocks the Cradle ; Rebecca De Mornay is so gloriously evil in that movie that we ended up watching it all the damn time — much to the chagrin of my mother, I assume, who got real tired (real fast) of having to see this movie about a million damn times. What can I say? She was kind of a saint that way. Looking back, unsurprisingly, it's pretty easy to see that The Hand That Rocks the Cradle isn't really a terrific movie — although it's still pretty solid for a 90's thriller. Certainly it boasted some fairly well-known cast ( Ernie Hudson and Julianne Moore — whom my regular readers know that I absolutely hate, in particular.) but, the plot is actually pretty convolut...

i'm kael's ghost

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