i'm kael's ghost

Even knowing logically that I can't watch EVERY horror movie out there, I still feel disappointed in myself when I only SUSPECT a movie is a remake. When I started watching The Town That Dreaded Sundown , I couldn't quite remember if it was a remake  or just a cheap knock off  of Texas Chainsaw Massacre  (TCM). I will say that the upside of my not being able to remember these things is that I then get to go research them before blogging. The answer to today's question: "is it a remake or is it a cheap imitation" is "yes." - meaning it's totally both. Although, to be completely fair, some might consider TCM to be a rip off (or homage ) of the original Town That Dreaded Sundown (as it pre-dates TCM by a few years). Perhaps this whole situation just got super meta... which, as it turns out, is what filmmakers were going for...  if you know me in the really, real world - you know that I'm rolling my eyes right now. I think they even went so far as ...

Historically, Australia hasn't been a huge producer of horror. Were you to catalog their film offerings, they'd fall more into that post apocalyptic, punk-rock, dystopian bucket. I remain unsurprised that such an empty, harsh place would have a soft spot in its heart for a wasteland of a world. What is actually kind of strange is that a place so full of poisonous and deadly wildlife has yet to really throw their hat into the killer creature ring. The horror that does come out of Australia is typically populated by human killers of the psychotic variety. Were you to ask me, I never would have expected a Tucker and Dale VS Evil caliber horror comedy to come roaring out of Australia. Yet it happened. 100 Bloody Acres is equal parts hilarious and gruesome. While Tucker and Dale plays heavily off the established stereotypes of the horror genre, 100 Bloody Acres finds pleasure in poking fun at our obsession with "free range" and "organic," in the perils of o...

"Move over Freddy. Move over Jason. Here comes The Mister." The cult of the 80's is strong. People often wax nostalgic over glorious 80's cinema with its practical effects and over-the-top stories. And it's true - it WAS a glorious time for horror AND comedy AND action movies - genres you often found romping playfully together at that time. BUT! This pro 80's nostalgia conveniently forgets the failures. If getting the formula for a great comedy is hard - balancing the elements to make a GREAT horror comedy is virtually impossible; this means there is potential to make BOTH a bad horror movie AND a bad comedy AND a bad movie overall. Enter tonight's train wreck (oh the puns!): The Sleeping Car  - not technically an 80's movie (having been made in 1990) but it's aesthetics are close enough to let it pass. And it was made by VidMark - any 80's horror fan knows that  VidMark  is like a beautiful seal of mediocrity in the VHS world. Here...

A few months back, I wrote a bit about the resurgence of art-house sci-fi and horror  while reviewing Here Comes The Devil. Today we dive back in, head first, with Under The Skin . From my (admittedly) limited internet research, I gathered that this movie is (loosely) based on a book, which I find interesting - by "loosely" I can only imagine they mean that the two share a name because there is nothing about this movie that lends itself to readability. And I say that having read some esoteric sci-fi novels in my day. To be a bit flippant here - I wrestled with this movie not being French; NO ONE makes a slow, enigmatic, bizarre, incomprehensible art film like the French. I'd love to segue into the plot from here however, there isn't so much a "plot" to this movie as there are a collection of images, scenes, and character interactions. A man on a motorcycle goes into the woods and comes out carrying the body of a woman. Cut to an all white room. Th...

If you were to divide fiction down traditional lines, I would fall to the sci-fi side 90% of the time; I’m not really a fantasy fan. When I do dabble in fantasy, I appreciate interesting creatures and non-traditional treatments of character types with backstories we think we already know. To that end, I’ll write now (with a straight face) that there aren’t enough killer mermaid stories out there anymore; Somehow, over the years, they have been reimagined as these Disney princesses of the sea instead of the malicious predators previous generations saw them as. I will say this: aside from featuring a “fantasy creature,” there wasn’t a lot about this one to make it a “fantasy movie” -  thankfully. It actually reminded me of watching a European horror flick from the 60’s - completely loaded with some of the most unbelievably lovely women you can imagine. I’m pretty sure they just build women better in European countries. I mean, even the mermaid with her slimy tail and creepy fish mou...

After the completely predictable failure of Battleship , someone still thought, "Hey! Let's make another movie based on a board game!" Enter Ouija . Unsurprisingly, this movie was also a flop. This financial failure was not great enough to keep some idiots from banging out a cheap, imitation they hoped would ride Ouija's coattails to success. Yet another brilliant idea.  Or not.  This brings us to my most recent wasted night on the couch with The Ouija Experiment . Here's the gist: For an unknown reason, a film student from NYC goes to Dallas with an Asian girl (who may be an escort or a hooker or a porn star) to film a "mysterious" event she won't tell him anything about. There's no explanation for how these two met and no obvious reason he'd want to film said event. Turns out, she's not an escort and the "event" she's taking him to is a "surprise" the boyfriend's best friend has set up. We will come to f...

The 1970's were a wondrous time for horror. Populated mostly by serial killers and maniacs, there are also a fair amount of demons, devils, spirits, and other such malicious, supernatural entities. Tonight's movie falls into this latter category. If The Exorcist and The Omen had a VERY  boring baby, it would be Audrey Rose . There's something so soap-opera-ish about this movie's plot; the story just doesn't seem to go anywhere and when it does, it doesn't make any sense. The gist? A family loses a child. The father seeks comfort in meditation and comes to believe his daughter has been reincarnated in another little girl. He approaches the girl's family, tells them this whacky theory, and all hell breaks loose. The man's story is so absurd that the family seeks the help of a lawyer - as though "crazy talk" is some sort of arrestable or prosecutable offense. The lawyer decides that he should invent some questions for the family to ask and...