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Showing posts from February, 2015

Audrey Rose

The 1970's were a wondrous time for horror. Populated mostly by serial killers and maniacs, there are also a fair amount of demons, devils, spirits, and other such malicious, supernatural entities. Tonight's movie falls into this latter category.

If The Exorcist and The Omen had a VERY boring baby, it would be Audrey Rose. There's something so soap-opera-ish about this movie's plot; the story just doesn't seem to go anywhere and when it does, it doesn't make any sense.

The gist? A family loses a child. The father seeks comfort in meditation and comes to believe his daughter has been reincarnated in another little girl. He approaches the girl's family, tells them this whacky theory, and all hell breaks loose. The man's story is so absurd that the family seeks the help of a lawyer - as though "crazy talk" is some sort of arrestable or prosecutable offense. The lawyer decides that he should invent some questions for the family to ask and that he…

Come Back To Me

Before I begin this one, allow me to state the (possibly) obvious here: there are spoilers in this post. If you DO NOT want to know the twist ending of Come Back To Me, STOP READING NOW. You can check out one of these less-spoiler-y reviews instead: The Hollywood Reporter Review of Come Back To Me OR The New York Times Review of Come Back To Me.


If you’re a regular reader, you know that I hate everything. In terms of genres, I've been cultivating a particular hatred for zombies, exorcism, and found footage. Don’t get me wrong here - each has merits, but I’m tired of the overwhelming number of each currently available. Because these genres have exploded in popularity, many movies in each are poorly made attempts to capitalize on that popularity. Little thought is given to the quality of the story, the production, the writing, or the acting.

In the past few months I've developed a new hatred; paranormal, domestic abuse movies. Please imagine me rolling my eyes right now, as I…

Soulmate

I didn't have high expectations for Soulmate; the cover is completely ripped off from The Awakening (so I kept thinking it was that movie in my queue) and the description on Netflix reads nearly identically to The Lake House. The combination of the low rating Netflix thought I’d give it and knowing that Neil Marshall felt good enough about it to produce it, created an intoxicating desire for me to give it a try. Unfortunately, I think Marshall produced the movie because his wife directed it, not because he truly felt it was a good movie. The lesson? Don't trust other people when they tell you a movie is good - that goes doubly for me - you should never trust me.

Soulmate is basically a chick-flick wearing the mask of a horror movie. The gist? A woman's husband is killed in a car accident. The guilt she feels for surviving drives her to try and kill herself. When her attempt fails, she runs away to a remote village and takes refuge in what turns out to be a haunted cabin. …

Unrest

I know what you're thinking: there just aren't enough movies about angry Aztec gods turning women into hookers. And you're right. Do a Google search on it and you'll get, well, basically no results. The closest you'll get is Q: The Winged Serpent - which is really less about hookers and more about an angry, winged beast devouring New Yorkers. I don't want you to worry! Tonight's offering, Unrest, is here to (eventually) fill all of your angry god needs. And by “eventually” I mean more than 2/3 of the way through the movie… by which point you’ve probably lost interest anyway.

Our story opens on a woman alone in a run down looking hospital room. It’s unclear if she’s a patient or visitor or something else entirely. There is ominous sounding Spanish chanting. She smashes a mirror and uses a piece to slice open her face. Very dramatic. The scene cuts to black and we jump randomly into a modern looking (but strangely vacant) hospital where a young medical stude…