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Showing posts from October, 2008

Rare Moments Of Joy In Hocking Videos

They're looking for a documentary - "any recommendations?"
i go, "What are you guys into?"
They go, "anything."

i say, "Try 'King of Kong'. sort of a weird thing..."
Then I go, "'Indie Sex' was really good, if you're into film history and nudity."
She goes, "Oh, I'm into nudity."
He laughs.
She says, "Let's get it over the Jewish one."

I go, "Jews out, porn in?"
She's like, "Yeah... totally."

....awesome.

13 Deadly Sins

3 college girls are roaming my store in their yoga pants with 'cute' tote bags... each with a pony tail and already well on their way to their 'freshman 15'.

Shall we tune in and listen to their conversation?....

"Noooo. you can't get that one... it sucks".
"Let's get 13 ghosts. have you guys seen it? it's wicked scary."

'"Wait? what's it about?"

"Well, it's about this wicked huge house and this guy, he hunts ghosts and keeps them there... they're like the 13 deadly sins."

... enough said.

Know What I’m Tired Of: My Movie Rant

I have always said that I hate Indie films -

If I wanted to see the 'real world', I would open my fucking front door.

I'm also sick and tired of 'honesty' - because it seems that 'honesty' means contrived attempts at showing how 'fucked up' each of us is and how we're each imperfect and blah blah blah...movies with no end, slices of life, emotional drama...

Fuck that bullshit.

Yes.
You're right.
We're all screwed up.
We all lie.
We all have secrets.
Each of us has baggage.
We all equally love and hate our lives, our families, our jobs, our homes...

It's tired. It's overdone. It's boring.

Seriously.
Let's knock this shit off.

Stop trying to be innovative and original and strikingly honest and bold and whatever the hell those Sundance judges are calling films these days.

I Watch Movies Therefore I Get Mad - OR - I Hated The Mist

Seriously.

I'd like a refund on the last 2 hours of my life.
Yeah.
They were pretty much wasted.

Okay.
They were totally wasted.

On what, you ask?

The Mist.

Look - I've known this whole time, since the movie came out, that it would be... um... crap. And now that I've subjected myself to it, I can definitively say, 'that movie was crap'.

Know what annoys me?

On the cover, there's this blurb that reads, 'A masterpiece. One of the most shocking movie endings ever.' (or something to that effect).

What?

The person who wrote that is either
A: retarded
B: sheltered
C: retarded
D: fucking retarded

Unless by 'shocking' he means 'completely predictable', 'totally cliched', and 'mind-numbingly obvious'.

Then yes.
It was 'shocking'.

And please, don't any of you try to sway me by arguing that, 'the book was really good' because:
A: I highly doubt it.
B: I don't give a crap because I'm talking about the fucking m…