Skip to main content

A Note About Sucker Punch OR "Perhaps I Am Too Old To Go To The Movies."

Unquestionably, Zach Snyder is a nerd. A big, comic-reading, video-game-playing, role-playing, fantasy-loving, nerd. How else could he continue directing the special-effects ridden movies that drag the gamers in from their parent's basements?

"300"? A win. "Watchmen"? A win, albeit one that managed to alienate some older nerds (more on this topic as I go.)

Unfortunately, "Sucker Punch" felt like 126 minutes of disjointed hodgepodged failure; a mixture of every sci-fi, fantasy, action movie to come out of the past 40-some-odd-years of film-making with a heavy sprinkling of video games, anime, and a smidge of "Riot Girl" meets "Grind House" culture tossed in for, um... good measure? For a few moments, I thought I was watching "Caged Heat" or some other WiP movie.

Zach's biggest saving grace? That he's made enough of a name for himself, and had enough box office success, that he's backed by the money required to create decent effects. Without that, he'd be in a world of hurt. I mean, there were, admittedly, visually striking moments but, to be honest, the most stylistically interesting were all in the first 10 minutes.

And to his credit, he knows how to handle a movie with 10% real people and 90% computerized "stuff".

I'm getting a bit ahead of myself here. Let's back this up for a second: When Zach first wowed us with "300", his Frank Miller stylings were "fresh" (despite following on the heels of "Sky Captain And The World Of Tomorrow" and "Sin City"). As an audience, we were still impressed by the richness of his colors, the textures of his scenes, and the often times gritty vulgarity of his characters. 

But at this point, four years after "300", are we really still amazed by what a computer can do?

Okay - so you don't care about his visual style. You care about story.
And you read Playboy for the articles...

What did this story have to offer us? Hot girls in peril wearing skimpy clothing with some ass-kicking on the side?  Russ Meyer set the bar there in 60's. Toss is some robots, dragons, and steam-punk, Nazi zombies and I'm pretty sure the Japanese have been offering up that fare for what? About a gazillion years? 

My point is, simply, that while younger audiences might find "Sucker Punch" to be novel and awe-inspiring, an older generation of nerds (like myself) will feel cheated by the slightly ridiculous derivativeness. Throughout the movie I kept thinking, "this was never written to be a movie, it was written to be an online-multi-player-game." And you know what, I'm sure it will be great (when it comes out).

And while I did not hate the movie, I was pained (greatly) by the soundtrack; a conglomeration of awkward covers of "classic"(?) songs. Memo to Zach, that may have worked in "Moulin Rouge", it didn't play so well here. Must be that age thing, again. I'm sure that younger viewers, not familiar with Iggy and The Stooges, will send this soundtrack into the "top rated" section of iTunes within a week. 

Summary time?

Go see "Sucker Punch" if you are 15 and have a penis.

Well... maybe just having a penis is enough...

You can watch the trailer here:

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Rebuttal: 17 Disturbing Horror Movies You Will Never Watch Again

When I'm not watching movies, I'm reading about movies. I stumble across all kinds of articles, blog posts, book excerpts, etc. in my quest to absorb as much movie knowledge as possible.

Now, I'm snotty and loud-mouthed and opinionated but I'd never begrudge another human their opinion. Seriously. You're absolutely welcome to have any opinion about any thing you want. However, I must warn you, if I think your opinion is stupid, I'm absolutely going to say so.

I've recently stumbled on an article completely brimming with so many idiotic opinions that I'm actually compelled to craft a response.

Here's the gist of the original article: there are some horror movies out there that are so disturbing, you'll only ever want to watch them once. I've have taken her original list and refuted her claims without pulling her entire article over. You can read the original article here.

Let's start at the beginning, with her opening statement:
"Hor…

"I live, I love, I slay & I am Content."

Let me tell you a little about myself; something real about the home I grew up in. There were lots of people around all the time. I was the only child. And, thankfully, I wasn't treated as such. Much like today, I was just the shortest member of the household.

But what's that really mean? Above and beyond it means that I had many influences growing up. For this entry, my father's influence is the most important.

My father loves arms and armor. He loves history and mythology and the art of warfare. And as any good father would, he shared these passions with me as a kid. I remember him making me wooden swords to play with. We played chess together. And I remember him reading me Greek myths and comic books before bed. He also shared his nerdy love of scifi, fantasy, and horror movies with me.

For all of this, I am grateful. And I am now passionate about the same things.

Spoiler alert: the following statement is not a dick joke. I have a love of swords. And barbarians and slay…

But The Flesh Is Weak: Cronenberg's Body Horrors

Body horror; something that effects each one of us as we are made of squishy, fallible, and finite flesh. Tackled many times in many ways throughout the years, body horror will stick with us until we finally learn to lose these weak, human bodies and begin existing in some other form.

There are many lenses through which to view body horror, lets talk about a few quickly before talking about some specific films in this genre.


Science and Technology
We depend on technology, especially in regards to our flimsy, fleshy bodies. Hip replacements, new hearts, brain surgery, iron lungs, cheek implants, etc. We have limited abilities and a limited lifespan, so we lean on technology to increase both. But what happens when we take that melding of mechanical and organic too far? Horror and scifi have taught us that going too far can lead to frighteningly devastating consequences and monstrous creations. (SpeciesRobocopFrankenstein, etc.)


Gender
Much of body horror is related to or revolves arou…