A Note About Sucker Punch OR "Perhaps I Am Too Old To Go To The Movies."

Unquestionably, Zach Snyder is a nerd. A big, comic-reading, video-game-playing, role-playing, fantasy-loving, nerd. How else could he continue directing the special-effects ridden movies that drag the gamers in from their parent's basements?

"300"? A win. "Watchmen"? A win, albeit one that managed to alienate some older nerds (more on this topic as I go.)

Unfortunately, "Sucker Punch" felt like 126 minutes of disjointed hodgepodged failure; a mixture of every sci-fi, fantasy, action movie to come out of the past 40-some-odd-years of film-making with a heavy sprinkling of video games, anime, and a smidge of "Riot Girl" meets "Grind House" culture tossed in for, um... good measure? For a few moments, I thought I was watching "Caged Heat" or some other WiP movie.

Zach's biggest saving grace? That he's made enough of a name for himself, and had enough box office success, that he's backed by the money required to create decent effects. Without that, he'd be in a world of hurt. I mean, there were, admittedly, visually striking moments but, to be honest, the most stylistically interesting were all in the first 10 minutes.

And to his credit, he knows how to handle a movie with 10% real people and 90% computerized "stuff".

I'm getting a bit ahead of myself here. Let's back this up for a second: When Zach first wowed us with "300", his Frank Miller stylings were "fresh" (despite following on the heels of "Sky Captain And The World Of Tomorrow" and "Sin City"). As an audience, we were still impressed by the richness of his colors, the textures of his scenes, and the often times gritty vulgarity of his characters.

But at this point, four years after "300", are we really still amazed by what a computer can do?

Okay - so you don't care about his visual style. You care about story.
And you read Playboy for the articles...

What did this story have to offer us? Hot girls in peril wearing skimpy clothing with some ass-kicking on the side? Russ Meyer set the bar there in 60's. Toss is some robots, dragons, and steam-punk, Nazi zombies and I'm pretty sure the Japanese have been offering up that fare for what? About a gazillion years?

My point is, simply, that while younger audiences might find "Sucker Punch" to be novel and awe-inspiring, an older generation of nerds (like myself) will feel cheated by the slightly ridiculous derivativeness. Throughout the movie I kept thinking, "this was never written to be a movie, it was written to be an online-multi-player-game." And you know what, I'm sure it will be great (when it comes out).

And while I did not hate the movie, I was pained (greatly) by the soundtrack; a conglomeration of awkward covers of "classic"(?) songs. Memo to Zach, that may have worked in "Moulin Rouge", it didn't play so well here. Must be that age thing, again. I'm sure that younger viewers, not familiar with Iggy and The Stooges, will send this soundtrack into the "top rated" section of iTunes within a week.

Summary time?

Go see "Sucker Punch" if you are 15 and have a penis.

Well... maybe just having a penis is enough...

You can watch the trailer here:

Rebuttal: 17 Disturbing Horror Movies You Will Never Watch Again

When I'm not watching movies, I'm reading about movies. I stumble across all kinds of articles, blog posts, book excerpts, etc. in my quest to absorb as much movie knowledge as possible. Now, I'm snotty and loud-mouthed and opinionated but I'd never begrudge another human their opinion. Seriously. You're absolutely welcome to have any opinion about any thing you want. However, I must warn you, if I think your opinion is stupid, I'm absolutely going to say so. I've recently stumbled on an article completely brimming with so many idiotic opinions that I'm actually compelled to craft a response. Here's the gist of the original article: there are some horror movies out there that are so disturbing , you'll only ever want to watch them once. I've have taken her original list and refuted her claims without pulling her entire article over. You can read the original article here . Let's start at the beginning, with her opening statement

Escape From Tomorrow

I love creative people who are willing to take risks with their art. I appreciate the refusal to do things by the rules. I'm also terribly impatient with mediocrity. Enter Escape From Tomorrow . Created by a team of rogue filmmakers, the movie was shot in the video mode of high-end still cameras. Actors shared scripts and shooting locations across their smartphones. Shot on location at Disney World, the parks were completely unaware this was all going on right under their mouse ears. I wanted to love Escape From Tomorrow. More than that, I wanted to be completely taken with its ingenuity and creativity and - oh yes - its originality. And there is really a simple brilliance to their covert plan; all families are roaming around the parks, taking videos and chatting on their phones. Just blend the fuck in, act like you belong, and you won't get caught. Too bad the movie can be summed up as: ambitious but Rubbish. As you can imagine (or possibly know), there was a ton of con

Mother!

Alright friends and readers–this one is probably doubly filled with typos and grammar errors because I wrote it while angry. Good luck and happy reading. There are unpopular opinions in every realm. As a film student, you can truly strike a nerve when you say things like, "I fucking hate the self-indulgence of independent films and the way people idolize them." Or, you know, "Low lighting and slow pacing does not a good movie make." Or whatever. You can of course, objectively, understand how this happens. When you are creating art–when you are outside the system so to speak–you are free to explore things (subjects, techniques, etc.) that may need to be addressed and that freedom can become intoxicating and go to one's head. While it may seem only right or only fair to respect and accept each creative endeavor that every artist undertakes, it is unreasonable to believe that the world will remain forever patient with the self-obsession artists have. Th

i'm kael's ghost

Search This Blog