Skip to main content

Ambitious but Rubbish: Silent House

The usual warning - there are spoilers ahead.

I keep running across horror movies where the "monster" is actually some sort of apparition or "shadow" or lingering energy or "bad vibe" created by some sort of domestic violence in the protagonist's past. For the most part, it's some form of molestation.

(An American Haunting, Absentia, Silent House, and another one that I'm honestly drawing a blank on because I watch so many terrible movies! To that end, I wish I could sort my "recently watched" by "genre" on my Netflix; seeing the cover of a crappy movie often jogs my piss-poor memory!)

Moving on!

I'm not about to try and tell you that I think groping little kids is okay or anything, but I will tell you that I'm already tired of this metaphor.

I mean, all these movies start with trailers / synopsis that claim to be something they are not; they look like haunted house movies or possession movies but turn out to be something less interesting. Typically the "fake out" is the same as in High Tension (your hero is actually your killer).

If there is no monster and no ghost and no demon, you had best really surprise me with your reveal.  Unfortunately for Silent House, it was TOO obvious that there was nothing in the house with main characters; the female lead, Elizabeth Olsen continued to have "close encounters" with the supposed villain / entity / killer yet nothing hurt or captured her.

The only momentary mystery was if she is the killer or if she's in it with someone else (her creepy "uncle" perhaps?)

You're probably wondering why I even bothered watching this one and I'll tell you, I was truly intrigued by their claim that they shot the movie in real-time and in one take.

Now. I'm not stupid (and Chris Kentis is no Hitchcock) so I knew that they didn't really shoot the movie in one take. But how amazing would that have been if they had?! And, I grudgingly admit that they did a fair job of faking it.

Wrap up time.
I honestly can't even dig up enough effort to write anything else about this movie.

You can watch the Silent House trailer here:

Popular posts from this blog

Rebuttal: 17 Disturbing Horror Movies You Will Never Watch Again

When I'm not watching movies, I'm reading about movies. I stumble across all kinds of articles, blog posts, book excerpts, etc. in my quest to absorb as much movie knowledge as possible.

Now, I'm snotty and loud-mouthed and opinionated but I'd never begrudge another human their opinion. Seriously. You're absolutely welcome to have any opinion about any thing you want. However, I must warn you, if I think your opinion is stupid, I'm absolutely going to say so.

I've recently stumbled on an article completely brimming with so many idiotic opinions that I'm actually compelled to craft a response.

Here's the gist of the original article: there are some horror movies out there that are so disturbing, you'll only ever want to watch them once. I've have taken her original list and refuted her claims without pulling her entire article over. You can read the original article here.

Let's start at the beginning, with her opening statement:
"Hor…

But The Flesh Is Weak: Cronenberg's Body Horrors

Body horror; something that effects each one of us as we are made of squishy, fallible, and finite flesh. Tackled many times in many ways throughout the years, body horror will stick with us until we finally learn to lose these weak, human bodies and begin existing in some other form.

There are many lenses through which to view body horror, lets talk about a few quickly before talking about some specific films in this genre.


Science and Technology
We depend on technology, especially in regards to our flimsy, fleshy bodies. Hip replacements, new hearts, brain surgery, iron lungs, cheek implants, etc. We have limited abilities and a limited lifespan, so we lean on technology to increase both. But what happens when we take that melding of mechanical and organic too far? Horror and scifi have taught us that going too far can lead to frighteningly devastating consequences and monstrous creations. (SpeciesRobocopFrankenstein, etc.)


Gender
Much of body horror is related to or revolves arou…

Pet Sematary

I learned a really interesting lesson the other night: no matter how many times you've seen a movie on a small screen, you haven't really seen it until you've done so on the big screen. Thus begins my story of realization in which I discover Pet Sematary (seemingly for the first time) and develop a theory that it might actually have been directed by David Lynch (this last bit being hyperbole, of course–but I've got a strong case for it, so stick with me).

Over the years, I've watched Pet Sematary a handful of times and while I know all the major plot points (and always remembered Denise Crosby as being completely awful), I definitely feel like I've seen a completely different movie this time around.

In case you're coming in late and don't know how the story goes, here's the $.25 of it: family moves into house positioned (oddly close) to an Indian burial ground. The neighbor is friendly (albeit creepy). The road they are on has absolutely no regular…