I Turned It Off: Black Forest

Because I am the most diligent of movie bloggers, I subject myself to a wealth of movies that literally no other human on Earth would (or should) subject themselves to.

This past weekend I actually found myself in a most unusual situation: I started two movies that were so bad I turned them off before finishing them.
And I sat through Room 237!

When I can't make it through a movie, you know it's bad.
Really, really bad.

I'd love to write a warning about each so that you, my devoted readers, don't accidentally waste your time on them but they were so bad that I can only remember one of them.

Well, part of a warning is better than no warning, right? Man oh man is that bad horror film logic!

Black Forest

The $.25 Version: Made for / by the SyFy Channel, which I didn't know before I tried to watch it. You've got to have some trepidation about a movie that is genre classified as mystery & suspense, horror, sci-fi, and fantasy. Talk about not knowing what you want to be.

I've read the plot description and I made it through 25 minutes of the movie and I still can't tell you what the hell it's about. I think there is something about witches or aliens or Paganism or cults or maybe all of those things. And the plot was structured something like Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2, or maybe Hostel where you have some unsuspecting group of people going somewhere and something bad happens to them.

...oh. That could be pretty much any horror movie.
Right.

You can watch a clip of this oh so amazing movie here:

Wait, someone liked this movie?!

Rebuttal: 17 Disturbing Horror Movies You Will Never Watch Again

When I'm not watching movies, I'm reading about movies. I stumble across all kinds of articles, blog posts, book excerpts, etc. in my quest to absorb as much movie knowledge as possible.

Now, I'm snotty and loud-mouthed and opinionated but I'd never begrudge another human their opinion. Seriously. You're absolutely welcome to have any opinion about any thing you want. However, I must warn you, if I think your opinion is stupid, I'm absolutely going to say so.

I've recently stumbled on an article completely brimming with so many idiotic opinions that I'm actually compelled to craft a response.

Here's the gist of the original article: there are some horror movies out there that are so disturbing, you'll only ever want to watch them once. I've have taken her original list and refuted her claims without pulling her entire article over. You can read the original article here.

Let's start at the beginning, with her opening statement:
"Hor…

But The Flesh Is Weak: Cronenberg's Body Horrors

Body horror; something that effects each one of us as we are made of squishy, fallible, and finite flesh. Tackled many times in many ways throughout the years, body horror will stick with us until we finally learn to lose these weak, human bodies and begin existing in some other form.

There are many lenses through which to view body horror, lets talk about a few quickly before talking about some specific films in this genre.

Science and Technology
We depend on technology, especially in regards to our flimsy, fleshy bodies. Hip replacements, new hearts, brain surgery, iron lungs, cheek implants, etc. We have limited abilities and a limited lifespan, so we lean on technology to increase both. But what happens when we take that melding of mechanical and organic too far? Horror and scifi have taught us that going too far can lead to frighteningly devastating consequences and monstrous creations. (Species, Robocop, Frankenstein, etc.)

Gender
Much of body horror is related to or revolves arou…

The Invitation (2015)

You know the drill - there's ALWAYS spoilers. Don't want the movie ruined for you? Come back after you've seen it.

And - I'm still without an editor - typos and bad grammar await you! Enjoy!

The Invitation is about an LA dinner party gone terribly wrong. Six couples pile into an extravagant house tucked away in the LA hills – as the night progresses suspicion, fake smiles, and traumatic memories turn their conversation from friendly to incredibly tense. Through flashbacks and terse snippets of character interaction we discover the ties binding each character to the others; one couple (Will and Eden) lost a child and some of the group have joined a self-help group that sounds like a cult. Hidden sexual desires are exposed and everyone is made to feel uncomfortable. In the end, folks become murderous and we realize that no amount of red velvet cake can make up for the loss of a child or combat years of brainwashing.
The Invitation falls within the sub-genre of... killer…

i'm kael's ghost

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