Breaking The Girls

Are you sad that you've been stuck jerking off to Wild Things for over 15 years? Crushed that Jennifer's Body only had limited teenage lesbian sex? Disappointed by Natalie Portman's masturbation scene in Black Swan? Can't go on without an updated version of Jawbreaker? Looking to relive the thrill of Cruel Intentions? Wishing someone would bring back Malice? Desperately seeking a teenage version of Strangers on a Train?

DON'T WORRY!
Look no further! I've found the movie you've been dreaming of.
Allow me to introduce you to the 2013 'masterpiece' that is Breaking The Girls.

If you haven't been able to glean the gist of this thriller based on all the movie titles I've shouted out, you're slow, and here's the $.25 version for you: a couple of unlikely female friends talk about killing each other's enemies. It's all fun and pillow talk until someone ends up dead.

There are only so many twists a story like this can have and they've all been done before. If you're expecting to be surprised in the end, you won't be. The good girl? Turns out she's behind it all. Heard that before? You probably watched Wild Things or Malice in the 90's.

If you're expecting funds for the spank bank thought, you'll be happy enough with what Breaking The Girls has to offer. Particularly if you're a Californication fan just waiting around for Madeline Zima to reprise the role of Mia. (With a splash of Jennifer Jason Leigh's Hedy).

...what else is there to write?

Be titillated by the Breaking The Girls trailer here:

Comments

The Witch (2015)

You know the drill - there's ALWAYS spoilers. Don't want the movie ruined for you, come back after you've seen it. Also - I'm still without an editor - typos and bad grammar await you! I keep hoping that the cultural obsession with zombies will end; literally every other damn movie that comes 'round seems to feature some sort of shambling, undead being bent on devouring the weak flesh of regular humans. Once upon a time, zombies have have been used as a metaphor for the blind consumerism created by our capitalist society, or the perceived depletion of resources by immigrants, or even the ravages of time and disease on our frail bodies. Now it seems that the deeper social commentary has been lost as audiences mindlessly consume "zombie fiction" in an attempt to keep up with trends. ( How very meta - a film buddy of mine commented on this assessment! ) All of this is just a sideways rant, leading up to my actual point: it seems that zombie may actually...

Mother!

Alright friends and readers–this one is probably doubly filled with typos and grammar errors because I wrote it while angry. Good luck and happy reading. There are unpopular opinions in every realm. As a film student, you can truly strike a nerve when you say things like, "I fucking hate the self-indulgence of independent films and the way people idolize them." Or, you know, "Low lighting and slow pacing does not a good movie make." Or whatever. You can of course, objectively, understand how this happens. When you are creating art–when you are outside the system so to speak–you are free to explore things (subjects, techniques, etc.) that may need to be addressed and that freedom can become intoxicating and go to one's head. While it may seem only right or only fair to respect and accept each creative endeavor that every artist undertakes, it is unreasonable to believe that the world will remain forever patient with the self-obsession artists have. Th...

The Ones Below (2015)

Standard disclosure: there's ALWAYS spoilers. Don't want the movie ruined for you? Come back after you've seen it. And - I'm still without an editor - typos and bad grammar await you! Enjoy! When I was like 12 years old, my young (impressionable) friends and I watched The Hand That Rocks the Cradle ; Rebecca De Mornay is so gloriously evil in that movie that we ended up watching it all the damn time — much to the chagrin of my mother, I assume, who got real tired (real fast) of having to see this movie about a million damn times. What can I say? She was kind of a saint that way. Looking back, unsurprisingly, it's pretty easy to see that The Hand That Rocks the Cradle isn't really a terrific movie — although it's still pretty solid for a 90's thriller. Certainly it boasted some fairly well-known cast ( Ernie Hudson and Julianne Moore — whom my regular readers know that I absolutely hate, in particular.) but, the plot is actually pretty convolut...

i'm kael's ghost

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