Skip to main content

Antisocial

I made a rookie mistake today. I started watching a movie based on the title.
In case you have never made this mistake yourself, allow me to protect you from your future self's stupid choice: NO MOVIE YOU CHOOSE TO WATCH BASED ON THE TITLE WILL EVER BE A GOOD LIFE DECISION!

Good. Now you've been warned.

So, I may have picked Antisocial out of my abundant Netflix choices because I was bored. And I may have done it because I, myself, am fairly antisocial. Or perhaps the most likely of all, I picked it because it immediately got me singing Anthrax. Whatever the ill-conceived logic was behind this idiotic choice - I'm actually apologizing to myself for this one.

When a person like me, who adds movies to her Netflix queue because they have the fewest stars, tells you that a movie is an immense pile of crap, you can rest assured that the movie in question is better forgotten than watched.

Another quick side rant before I get into the details of the movie: I am so damn tired of zombie movies.  Yet again, unbeknownst to me, I started watching a fucking zombie movie. Seriously. This is what I get for picking movies based on titles  and not movie descriptions.

Part of the new breed of zombie movie (reminding me of Contracted and The Signal all mixed up with Pulse and Doghouse) - Antisocial is about a bunch of college-aged kids on New Year's Eve who become "infected" with some kind of madness that turns them into irrational, delusional, bleeding killers. I may not have been paying close attention BUT, I don't really recall anyone every using the word zombie anywhere in the movie.

The infection is spread through (get ready for this one) social media. In a not-surprising-to-anyone "twist" ending, the "infection" was created by the social media company's owner as a marketing ploy to increase user activity. The intention was to send subliminal messages through the site that would COMPEL users to post more pictures! Somehow that "compulsive instinct" to post your selfies all over the internet "mutated" into a need to kill. Out goes the Twinkie defense and in walks the "Facebook made me do it" argument.

If you can't feel the heavy-handed social commentary looming in this one, you're either too young or too dumb.

Unsurprisingly, Antisocial brings NOTHING new to the table. It served up the typical, paranoid scenarios that accompany any "mysterious disaster turned monster movie." It provided us the absolutely standard "survivors take refuge in a place that becomes their tomb" set up. It gave us members of the group fighting amongst themselves as they fear one of their own has become infected. There's the turning away of outsiders, begging for help. Every checkbox on the list of things needed to make a zombie movie got checked along the way.

At least I can give them this: the effects weren't terrible and the broad who lives to the end is pretty enough to make for a great movie poster.

Waste 2 minutes of your life and watch the trailer here:


Throw the horns and listen to Anthrax here:

Popular posts from this blog

Rebuttal: 17 Disturbing Horror Movies You Will Never Watch Again

When I'm not watching movies, I'm reading about movies. I stumble across all kinds of articles, blog posts, book excerpts, etc. in my quest to absorb as much movie knowledge as possible.

Now, I'm snotty and loud-mouthed and opinionated but I'd never begrudge another human their opinion. Seriously. You're absolutely welcome to have any opinion about any thing you want. However, I must warn you, if I think your opinion is stupid, I'm absolutely going to say so.

I've recently stumbled on an article completely brimming with so many idiotic opinions that I'm actually compelled to craft a response.

Here's the gist of the original article: there are some horror movies out there that are so disturbing, you'll only ever want to watch them once. I've have taken her original list and refuted her claims without pulling her entire article over. You can read the original article here.

Let's start at the beginning, with her opening statement:
"Hor…

But The Flesh Is Weak: Cronenberg's Body Horrors

Body horror; something that effects each one of us as we are made of squishy, fallible, and finite flesh. Tackled many times in many ways throughout the years, body horror will stick with us until we finally learn to lose these weak, human bodies and begin existing in some other form.

There are many lenses through which to view body horror, lets talk about a few quickly before talking about some specific films in this genre.


Science and Technology
We depend on technology, especially in regards to our flimsy, fleshy bodies. Hip replacements, new hearts, brain surgery, iron lungs, cheek implants, etc. We have limited abilities and a limited lifespan, so we lean on technology to increase both. But what happens when we take that melding of mechanical and organic too far? Horror and scifi have taught us that going too far can lead to frighteningly devastating consequences and monstrous creations. (SpeciesRobocopFrankenstein, etc.)


Gender
Much of body horror is related to or revolves arou…

Pet Sematary

I learned a really interesting lesson the other night: no matter how many times you've seen a movie on a small screen, you haven't really seen it until you've done so on the big screen. Thus begins my story of realization in which I discover Pet Sematary (seemingly for the first time) and develop a theory that it might actually have been directed by David Lynch (this last bit being hyperbole, of course–but I've got a strong case for it, so stick with me).

Over the years, I've watched Pet Sematary a handful of times and while I know all the major plot points (and always remembered Denise Crosby as being completely awful), I definitely feel like I've seen a completely different movie this time around.

In case you're coming in late and don't know how the story goes, here's the $.25 of it: family moves into house positioned (oddly close) to an Indian burial ground. The neighbor is friendly (albeit creepy). The road they are on has absolutely no regular…