Gallows Hill (The Damned) 2013

Being a bit of a Twilight Zone nerd, I've watched all of the episodes many - MANY - times. This has the strange effect of giving me "known" plots to stumble over on my movie watching travels.

Gallows Hill is a movie length version of episode 41, The Howling Man. For those of you who haven't seen it, the story goes like this:

A man on a walking trip becomes lost and during a sudden rain storm, wanders into a nearby castle. Instead of being welcomed by friendly natives, he is told to leave immediately. On his way back out the door, he collapses. When he wakes, he hears a terrible howl and (stupidly) goes to investigate. He discovers a bedraggled man in a cell who claims to be a prisoner of an insane religious order. Said leader (Brother Jerome) later explains that the prisoner is not a man, but rather the devil himself. Convinced that Jerome is insane, our traveler waits until his guard falls asleep, creeps down to the cell, and releases the prisoner. As he walks toward the exit, he begins to change, taking on the appearance of the devil with each step before departing the castle in a plume of smoke. Our traveler embarks on a new journey to try and recapture the devil.

Gallows Hill presents us with a family traveling in Columbia. During a flash flood they attempt to take refuge in an old inn where the creepy old innkeeper tries to shoo them away. Not taking no for an answer, they plead for entrance and he finally agrees. Once inside, he asks them NOT TO WANDER AROUND which, of course means that they immediately split up and begin wandering around. Through a vent in the floor, the daughter hears a little girl begging for help. They head to the basement to investigate and discover a young girl locked in a cell. She begs to be let free. As they try to get her out, the innkeeper bursts in, begging them to keep her locked up. They knock him out, set her free, and bad shit begins to happen.

The freed girl very quickly shows her true colors: first she impersonally molests the teenage daughter, then she confronts another women in the group telling her secrets about herself. Then people start to die. The "evil" inside the girl "jumps" to another body when she is killed. This is right about when it comes out that the "evil" is the spirit of a witch who is on a mission to kill all of the descendants of the families that killed her.

The plot offers absolutely no surprises - it's a linear trudge from the reveal to the climax. Even the body-jumping Fallen component isn't particularly surprising.

Aside from predictability, the movie also suffers from awful acting and some really bad casting. None of the actors look at all the ages they are supposed to be. When the college-age main character has dinner with her father for the first time, I thought she was kidding about the relationship.

I was also disappointed when I realized the potential for a great "evil child" movie had been replaced by a boring, body-jumping witch movie.

If you've got any sense, you'll skip this movie and just watch The Howling Man instead.

Watch The Howling Man here:

Watch the trailer for Gallows Hill here:

The Witch (2015)

You know the drill - there's ALWAYS spoilers. Don't want the movie ruined for you, come back after you've seen it. Also - I'm still without an editor - typos and bad grammar await you! I keep hoping that the cultural obsession with zombies will end; literally every other damn movie that comes 'round seems to feature some sort of shambling, undead being bent on devouring the weak flesh of regular humans. Once upon a time, zombies have have been used as a metaphor for the blind consumerism created by our capitalist society, or the perceived depletion of resources by immigrants, or even the ravages of time and disease on our frail bodies. Now it seems that the deeper social commentary has been lost as audiences mindlessly consume "zombie fiction" in an attempt to keep up with trends. ( How very meta - a film buddy of mine commented on this assessment! ) All of this is just a sideways rant, leading up to my actual point: it seems that zombie may actually...

"I live, I love, I slay & I am Content."

Let me tell you a little about myself; something real about the home I grew up in. There were lots of people around all the time. I was the only child. And, thankfully, I wasn't treated as such. Much like today, I was just the shortest member of the household. But what's that really mean? Above and beyond it means that I had many influences growing up. For this entry, my father's influence is the most important. My father loves arms and armor. He loves history and mythology and the art of warfare. And as any good father would, he shared these passions with me as a kid. I remember him making me wooden swords to play with. We played chess together. And I remember him reading me Greek myths and comic books before bed. He also shared his nerdy love of scifi, fantasy, and horror movies with me. For all of this, I am grateful. And I am now passionate about the same things. Spoiler alert: the following statement is not a dick joke. I have a love of swords. And barbarian...

Mother!

Alright friends and readers–this one is probably doubly filled with typos and grammar errors because I wrote it while angry. Good luck and happy reading. There are unpopular opinions in every realm. As a film student, you can truly strike a nerve when you say things like, "I fucking hate the self-indulgence of independent films and the way people idolize them." Or, you know, "Low lighting and slow pacing does not a good movie make." Or whatever. You can of course, objectively, understand how this happens. When you are creating art–when you are outside the system so to speak–you are free to explore things (subjects, techniques, etc.) that may need to be addressed and that freedom can become intoxicating and go to one's head. While it may seem only right or only fair to respect and accept each creative endeavor that every artist undertakes, it is unreasonable to believe that the world will remain forever patient with the self-obsession artists have. Th...

i'm kael's ghost

Search This Blog