Mercy (2014) - More People Do Things In The Name Of Love Than Anything Else

Often, I find myself asking things like, "How did I accidentally pick another zombie movie to watch?" or "How did I accidentally pick another found footage movie to watch?" Tonight, on the heels of watching The Taking of Deborah Logan, I have to pose the question, "How did I accidentally pick another Stephen King movie and another possession movie to watch?"

There was very little I could turn up on the internet about this movie, leading me to believe no one really gives a crap about it. There's good reason for this: like most movie adaptations of King's stories, the plot is convoluted, the tone is that of a made for tv movie, the writing is childish, and the acting is uneven (at best). I have never seen such pathetic fake crying before this.

Alright, here's the gist:
A woman must move back to her childhood home to care for her ailing mother. Which is pretty much the identical story of Deborah Logan. "Ailing," in this case, turns out to mean, "sold her soul to the devil and is now paying the price for that sale." As you might expect. Along for the ride are the woman's two teenage sons; one wants to be a chef and the other talks to spirits. Cryptic messages are delivered, supernatural encounters are had, and oh yes, people die. Unfortunately, not nearly enough of them, if I'm honest. The ending is some bullshit, happily ever after nonsense. I was actually worried that they were going to have the soulless grandmother live. Thankfully, she doesn't.

Great segue here: what I did turn up about the source material is that it ends very differently than the movie. Apparently, King's unhappy ending didn't fly with the studio - which is a bummer because it reads way better than the movie ending.

There are shades of Pet Sematary and The Shining coloring this one, but that doesn't help the story any. Perhaps this one is the final, unequivocal proof that Stephen King loves money more than he cares about his art. Side note here: the source material is actually pretty old. My point here is that the movie version is shit and is clearly just a chance for King to make a few bucks for very little work.

I'd also like to note that I can only suspend my disbelief so far. Central to the story is a man killing himself with an axe blow to the head. Who kills themselves with an axe to the head? I guess the idea is impressively creative, if not impossible and idiotic to execute. The only redeeming piece of this movie may be the hilariously bad joke that the death by axe is called (by one of the characters) an "axe-ident." Puns. Glorious puns.

Top all this off with Dylan Mcdermott running around pointlessly in the middle of it all, still desperately trying to convince the world that he's a real actor... to no avail.

Watch it if: you like sub-par stories about selling your soul to the devil.

For your viewing displeasure, the Mercy trailer:

Rebuttal: 17 Disturbing Horror Movies You Will Never Watch Again

When I'm not watching movies, I'm reading about movies. I stumble across all kinds of articles, blog posts, book excerpts, etc. in my quest to absorb as much movie knowledge as possible. Now, I'm snotty and loud-mouthed and opinionated but I'd never begrudge another human their opinion. Seriously. You're absolutely welcome to have any opinion about any thing you want. However, I must warn you, if I think your opinion is stupid, I'm absolutely going to say so. I've recently stumbled on an article completely brimming with so many idiotic opinions that I'm actually compelled to craft a response. Here's the gist of the original article: there are some horror movies out there that are so disturbing , you'll only ever want to watch them once. I've have taken her original list and refuted her claims without pulling her entire article over. You can read the original article here . Let's start at the beginning, with her opening statement

"I live, I love, I slay & I am Content."

Let me tell you a little about myself; something real about the home I grew up in. There were lots of people around all the time. I was the only child. And, thankfully, I wasn't treated as such. Much like today, I was just the shortest member of the household. But what's that really mean? Above and beyond it means that I had many influences growing up. For this entry, my father's influence is the most important. My father loves arms and armor. He loves history and mythology and the art of warfare. And as any good father would, he shared these passions with me as a kid. I remember him making me wooden swords to play with. We played chess together. And I remember him reading me Greek myths and comic books before bed. He also shared his nerdy love of scifi, fantasy, and horror movies with me. For all of this, I am grateful. And I am now passionate about the same things. Spoiler alert: the following statement is not a dick joke. I have a love of swords. And barbarian

Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark - Another Lesson in Not Letting Homeownership Drive You Mad

There's a great history of horror films with "don't" in their titles Don't Go In the Woods (1981) Don't Go In The House (1980) Don't Look In The Basement (1973) Don't Answer The Phone (1980) Don't Open The Door (1975) Don't Open The Window (1974) Don't Go Near The Park (1981) Etc. These titles suggest horror audiences aren't bright enough to realize the movies they are watching are warnings (premarital sex will make masked slashers target you, mess with nature and you'll end up with an uncontrollable monster, play your heavy metal records backwards and demons will come out of your lawn, etc.) But they also offer sound advise within the context of each film; not following these warnings will get you killed. Then there's Don't Be Afraid of The Dark , where the oposite seems to be true. The title doesn't actually read as a warning, although the warning is implied there. It actually reads as a wheedlin

i'm kael's ghost

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