i'm kael's ghost

Unquestionably, Zach Snyder is a nerd. A big, comic-reading, video-game-playing, role-playing, fantasy-loving, nerd. How else could he continue directing the special-effects ridden movies that drag the gamers in from their parent's basements? " 300 "? A win. " Watchmen "? A win, albeit one that managed to alienate some older nerds (more on this topic as I go.) Unfortunately, " Sucker Punch " felt like 126 minutes of disjointed hodgepodged failure; a mixture of every sci-fi, fantasy, action movie to come out of the past 40-some-odd-years of film-making with a heavy sprinkling of video games, anime, and a smidge of " Riot Girl " meets " Grind House " culture tossed in for, um... good measure? For a few moments, I thought I was watching " Caged Heat " or some other WiP movie. Zach's biggest saving grace? That he's made enough of a name for himself, and had enough box office success, that he's backed by ...

If strange things begin happening around your house and your child claims that their doll did it - believe them! There are a few options for you: - make friends with said doll - destroy said doll - give said doll to your enemies 12/18/2007

Black Christmas  is typically considered one of the great "slasher films" but, I find it to be a little more subtle that your typical slasher flick. Not surprisingly, some jackass remade this 70's horror masterpiece. Also not surprisingly, I've never watched said remake. You all know how I feel about remakes . Another thing that won't surprise anyone is that I love the original Black Christmas - and here's a few reasons why: (warning - spoilers ahead!) The horror is right under everyone's nose. From the very first moments of the film, the killer is already inside the sorority house (where the bulk of the film takes place).  The first murder takes place very early in the movie.  For the remainder of the film, the bodies of the victims that are desperately being searched for are also in the house. The horror within - "the enemy is us" - these concepts are quintessentially 1970's. "Black Christmas" warns us to stop looking ...

I hated " Gladiator ". Which is probably weird because: - I like Ridley Scott - I don't mind Russell Crowe - I fucking love epic battle movies, sword fights, savage beatings, crazy weaponry, etc. And here's a surprise... I love hot, sweaty, half-naked guys. But really, I don't like Hollywood's bottom line (making money VS making smart, original stories or creative re-inventings of existing material). "Gladiator" just feels like crap to me. It was a big-budget ($103 million) summer block-buster. Is that bad? Only if you have a brain and you want it to be stimulated while watching a movie. Traditionally, "summer block-busters" are the film equivalent of the greasy corn you devour while watching them. They reach the masses by meeting only the lowest common denominator. You sit down, turn your brain off, and turn your eyeballs into sponges just soaking up the pretty colors. Let me just interject here: I have a soft-spot in m...

NOTE TO READERS: there are spoilers in this rant, read on at your own risk! Dear A Serbian Film , I am writing you this letter to express my concerns about myself. As you know, the people who have seen you are profoundly disturbed... and I don't mean that they are sick individuals, I mean that they are upset by your contents. Rape, torture, and murder often leave movie audiences feeling disgusted. You, to your credit, attempted to make each of those horrors as profoundly disturbing as you possibly could. I understand that the Serbian film makers of this generation are truly affected by war time atrocities and the results on society. I understand that your efforts were great in making audiences feel like co-conspirators in each gross misuse of human flesh throughout your run time. I'd like you to know that I, honestly, am less "moved" than I probably should be. It is possible, although doubtful to me, that I have simply seen one too many horror films o...

While digging through a notebook from one of my film classes in college, I ran across a scribbled thought in the margin: "John Woo, friend or foe?" And I started laughing at myself. I wish I were feeling motivated enough to dissect this note and the craziness in my head that made it make sense at the time I wrote it...

Per request by my friend Jo: