i'm kael's ghost

This kid comes up to the counter: he's in the 15-17 range. totally stoned. wearing his ballcap sideways, huge puffy jacket, jeans hanging below his ass, Nike sneakers, giant fake diamond earring.... Him: "Hey." Me: "Hi." Him: "Where are the Rob Zombie movies? Are they all together?" Me: "Which one are you looking for? They're alphabetized." (I start heading around the counter so I can grab whatever movie he wants.) Him: "Uh... anything except "Devil's Rejects"....... or "House of 1000 Corpses"....." I stop. Me: "So you're looking for 'Halloween'?" Him: blank stare Me: "There's only 3 movies... you're looking for 'Halloween'?" He keeps rambling here, but I'm not listening... I'm looking for the movie. I hand him the movie and walk away.

Part one: my life as a film student. During my junior year, while I was hacking away at my degree, my soon-to-be-plan sponsor approached me during an intermission at a play: (here's my abbreviated version of the conversation) "Want to teach a class with me?" "Sure. what's the class on?" "Violence in film." We decided that we'd each choose a certain number of movies to show, plus a few extras, and then John would handle the writing portion (being the writing instructor). So we set about selecting movies. I will now jump ahead in this fascinating story to the part where John picks a little-known-German film called " Funny Games ."  He had just seen it recently and - if I remember correctly - it was so striking a film it had "inspired" him to teach this "film violence" class. I go out and rent the movie... it's brilliant. It's the most brutal bits of " A Clockwork Orange " ...

One of the greatest sci-fi conventions is being  "unstuck in time". Although there are MANY great instances of this condition, one of the most famous and most influential is (undoubtedly) Vonnegut's Billy Pilgrim. If you've never read (or seen, I suppose) " Slaughterhouse Five ", do yourself a favor and check it out! "Unstuck in time" is a classical way of questioning reality, sanity, free will, fate, mortality, and perception. Someone who finds themselves "unstuck in time" finds themselves fighting against accusations of insanity while struggling to unravel a mystery that inevitably holds the key to their fate. One false move and they could become trapped in a time that they don't belong in, they could irretrievably alter the path of the future, they could destroy the lives of those around them, they could conceivably live forever... ANYTHING possible can happen. So the question becomes - what have they done before?...

I'm watching my pile of crap movies... You know me. You know that my gut reaction is to HATE anything that could possibly pass for a "chick flick". ...which is funny considering that my boy is the biggest, teenage girl you've ever seen... (laughs) So anyway... I've just finished "Uptown Girls" and "Mona Lisa Smile"... and while I wanted to despise them both - they were actually less vile than I anticipated. This IS NOT to say that either was 'good' - just that neither made me want to tear my eyes from their sockets. On the other hand... I'm watching "Hatchet" - which is a little on the painful side. As much as I love horror - I hate crap horror. I hate "film school" horror. I remember watching the commentary on a H.G. Lewis movie - the interviewer asked him about making "bad movies" and Lewis replied, "I don't make bad movies. Everything is in focus. The dialog is synced to the ...

They're looking for a documentary - "any recommendations?" i go, "What are you guys into?" They go, "anything." i say, "Try 'King of Kong'. sort of a weird thing..." Then I go, "'Indie Sex' was really good, if you're into film history and nudity." She goes, "Oh, I'm into nudity." He laughs. She says, "Let's get it over the Jewish one." I go, "Jews out, porn in?" She's like, "Yeah... totally." ....awesome.

3 college girls are roaming my store in their yoga pants with 'cute' tote bags... each with a pony tail and already well on their way to their 'freshman 15'. Shall we tune in and listen to their conversation?.... "Noooo. you can't get that one... it sucks". "Let's get 13 ghosts. have you guys seen it? it's wicked scary." '"Wait? what's it about?" "Well, it's about this wicked huge house and this guy, he hunts ghosts and keeps them there... they're like the 13 deadly sins." ... enough said.

I have always said that I hate Indie films - If I wanted to see the 'real world', I would open my fucking front door. I'm also sick and tired of 'honesty' - because it seems that 'honesty' means contrived attempts at showing how 'fucked up' each of us is and how we're each imperfect and blah blah blah...movies with no end, slices of life, emotional drama... Fuck that bullshit. Yes. You're right. We're all screwed up. We all lie. We all have secrets. Each of us has baggage. We all equally love and hate our lives, our families, our jobs, our homes... It's tired. It's overdone. It's boring. Seriously. Let's knock this shit off. Stop trying to be innovative and original and strikingly honest and bold and whatever the hell those Sundance judges are calling films these days.